


A Hop, Kiss, and a Jump

by DistractedDream



Series: DistractedDream's Zine Fics [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Established Relationship, Frogs, Gladnis, M/M, Memento Amare Zine, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23659150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistractedDream/pseuds/DistractedDream
Summary: "Rrrrribbit.""Big guy?""Uh, Gladio?""You cannot be serious."A toad status lasts longer on Gladio than expected. Fresh out of curatives and other ideas, Ignis starts to give serious consideration to an old fairytale.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Ignis Scientia
Series: DistractedDream's Zine Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722808
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	A Hop, Kiss, and a Jump

**Author's Note:**

> _"We thought you was a toad!" - Delmar, "O Brother Where Art Thou?"_
> 
> Hi there! So apparently, I never posted my piece from the first FFXV zine I participated in! This was written for the amazing Memento Amare Zine, celebrating Gladnis, which was sent out in March 2019. I was assigned a piece for the 22/23 section, so this would take place within the main game timeframe.
> 
> Thank you to GalacticGlaze for betaing for me!
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated and keep me writing! I can be found on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/distractedream) at Distractedream and [Tumblr](https://distracteddream.tumblr.com/), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/distracteddream/), and [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/distracteddream?si=_Yuds57lRve_hXzKrEF05Q) at DistractedDream. Enjoy!

"Rrrrribbit."

"Big guy?"

"Uh, Gladio?"

"You cannot be serious." Ignis stared down at the frog at his feet which seemed to be looking up at him expectantly. They defeated the naga and he'd wanted nothing more than to head back to camp, change into something that didn't smell like Eau de Chocobo, and perhaps, steal a few moments with his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was currently a frog. Ignis shook his head, the other two tittering at Gladio's predicament. "Highness? A curative, please."

The giggling stopped immediately. When no curative appeared, Ignis swung his gaze over, praying to the Astrals for patience as Gladio sat his slimy body on the toe of his shoes. Noct rubbed the back of his head, Prompto shifting out of range and abandoning his friend. "Um, we're out, remember? We were gonna stock up after this hunt."

"Rrrrribbit."

Ignis pushed his glasses up to rub the bridge of his nose. "No, clearly I did not." He bent down, thankful as always for his gloves, scooping the frog from the ground. Ignis would have sworn Gladio grinned at him, chirruping happily. "Don't start with me," he chided. With a confident leap, Gladio hopped to perch on Ignis' shoulder. "No tongue," the Advisor muttered. "Or I'll be tempted to come up with a new recipe. I could make a magnificent frog stew."

Prompto stepped closer to peer at Gladio. Dark markings covered the frog's back and his front legs, his eyes more amber than brown. Prompto's fingers itched for his camera. "It'll wear off, right? Hey! This is just like the fairytale! Sorta." His smile faded at Ignis' perplexed look. "You know. A frog tells a princess he's really a prince and asks for a kiss to break the witch's spell." Prompto turned to Noct. "You know, right?" He sighed when Noct shook his head. "Anyways," Prompto drew out the word, gesturing at Iggy and Gladio, "Maybe a kiss will turn him back."

Gladio made deep chirruping sounds, seeming to agree with the suggestion. Ignis' eyes narrowed. There was absolutely no way he was going to kiss a frog, even if it was his boyfriend. "Maybe you and Noctis should retrieve our payment and the needed curatives. Now." Ignis' jaw was so tense, he could feel it clicking in his ears as he spoke. Any sense of urgency he hoped to instill was undone by the full body tremor shaking him as Gladio nudged his head against Ignis' cheek. "Gladio!"

Noct, at least, had the sense to stifle his laughter as he grabbed Prompto to pull him away. "Let's go before we're eating frog legs for dinner."

"No, wait!" Prompto protested. Ignis turned carefully, mindful to not dislodge Gladio, wondering what Prompto could possibly think was more important than the task Ignis had given him. "Say 'flies'!"

The shutter of Prompto's camera snapped along with Ignis' patience. "Prompto!" The photographer in question raced Noctis to the Regalia and only Gladio clinging to his shoulder kept Ignis from giving chase. With a heavy sigh, he crouched down to gather Gladio's belongings. "What a mess. And to think, you almost could have convinced me to make cup noodles for dinner tonight. I suppose I will have to think of something else now."

With Gladio still riding on him, Ignis slipped the warrior’s necklace over his own head and began the trek back to the haven. "Fortuitous we made camp last night. I would have hated to suffer through Prompto and Noct setting up the tent." Gladio puffed up his chest, causing Ignis to chuckle at his frog-sized indignation. "I'm sure that would have bugged you." He grinned at Gladio's reproachful croak. "Oh, I've a pond full more, love."

By the time they arrived at camp, Ignis had used half his frog-and-toad-related puns and had begun to tell jokes as he changed and started preparing their evening meal. He moved Gladio's chair closer to his cook station, deciding it was too risky to let him sit on his shoulder over the knives and stove. "Did you hear about the frog spy ring? It was a real croak and dagger operation." Gladio ribbitted loudly which Ignis interpreted as a hearty laugh, dumping the finely minced vegetables into the pot. Stew, as it turned out, had been an excellent idea, using the last of the garula meat they'd saved. Ignis turned to Gladio, permitting himself a small Ebony break as the meal cooked. "What costume does a frog wear? A prince!" Gladio tilted his head at Ignis, making no amused noises at that one. "Perhaps that hit too close to the lily pad." If a frog could roll his eyes, he was certain Gladio would have.

Ignis took a hearty swig, analyzing their situation. The curative for the frog curse was Maiden's Kiss. Ignis assumed it played off the fairytale Prompto had referenced. He'd never considered the meaning behind the name before. "I'm not a princess," Ignis said. "It would never work." Gladio chirruped while Ignis set his Ebony down and crouched before the chair and his boyfriend. "It's a fairytale, something to entertain children. It's not real." Gladio hopped to the edge of the chair, webbed toes curling around it. He croaked right in Ignis' face and Ignis barely repressed a shudder. "There's no point in arguing with me. The boys will return soon with the curative. And if not, I'm certain this will wear off." The frog hung his head. "Now, don't be like that. Neither of us is enjoying this. I wanted a nice, quiet evening with you." Ignis snorted. "Well, I suppose this is still a quiet evening with you, but it's not as nice as I would have liked. It's hard to fall asleep in my boyfriend's arms when his arms are only as long as my finger."

He held out his finger, decorum preventing him from flinching away as Gladio plopped one of his feet onto the finger. "It’s my favorite way to fall asleep. Curled up against you. Surrounded by your warmth. Even the sound of your snoring lulls me into sleep now." Gladio's tongue snapped out and Ignis recoiled, landing on his rear. "I said no tongue! And you do snore. All of us do. I simply meant I find it comforting." He huffed, pushing to his feet, a weight landing on his toes as Gladio jumped from the chair with a despondent chirrup.

"Careful, love. I'm only giving this a stir." Ignis watched as the stew swirled around the pot. "I'm not upset. I am, however, worried. I've never known this enchantment to last quite so long. And to be down our Shield." Ignis' voice went soft. "I'd hoped never to be in that position again." Gladio crawled up his shoe and pushed his body against Ignis' ankle insistently until he picked Gladio up. "You're still terribly hard-headed, aren't you?" Ignis carried Gladio to the chair, sinking into it, the frog cradled in his gloved palms. "You’ve always been an excellent listener, Gladio, but right now I’d dearly love to hear your voice."

"Rrrrribbit."

"Not quite what I meant." Gladio padded forward and the longer Ignis stared at his frog boyfriend, the more he found his gaze drawn to Gladio's lips. No, mouth. Frogs didn't have lips. "I suppose... Maiden's Kiss, yes? It doesn't say anything about being royalty. Only..." A faint flush colored his cheeks and he thought Gladio's eyes widened. He brought Gladio closer. "It’d be foolish not to try all options available to us." His heart raced and he could feel Gladio's do the same against his palms. "No tongue. I mean it, Gladio."

Gladio chirruped but Ignis closed the distance between them, shutting his eyes tightly and kissing the frog directly on the mouth. To his relief, the slimy sensation only lasted a moment. He felt Gladio's form shift in his hands, magic surrounding them until Ignis was cupping Gladio's face as Gladio returned the kiss. Gladio's chest rumbled with a satisfied moan as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, licking into Ignis' mouth. Ignis planted his palms on Gladio's chest and pushed him away. "What?" Gladio asked, voice rough.

"I said no tongue." Ignis smirked, enjoying Gladio's confusion, getting to his feet. "And I hear the car." He brushed his shirt off, returning to the stove.

Gladio, however, had other ideas, embracing him from behind. "Aww, but Iggy. You said you wanted to spend tonight in my arms." He flexed and, as much as Ignis would have dearly loved to appreciate those muscles, when he was cooking wasn't the time and Gladio knew it, laughing as Ignis swatted at him. With a quick peck to his cheek, Gladio stepped away to greet Prompto and Noct. "Took you long enough, Princess! Where's my kiss?"

"Gladio!" Prompto bounded over to him, arms full of curatives and a few other supplies. "You're back! I mean, you didn't leave but you're back! To you!"

Noct flipped Gladio off. "Got your kiss right here. Looks like that was a waste of gas and gil."

Ignis didn't bother to look over his shoulder. "Restocking our curatives was hardly a waste, Highness."

"So what happened? Did it finally wear off?" Noct sidled over to Ignis, peering suspiciously into the pot. "Are there vegetables in there?"

Gladio snorted as he settled into his chair, stretching his legs out in Iggy's way. "You know there are. Get over it." He nudged Ignis' leg with his. "And looks like Maiden's Kiss worked after all."

"Wooooooo! Knew it would work!" Oblivious to the subtext, Prompto dropped his bag into a chair, high-fiving Noct. "Was it good? It bet it was good."

Ignis slipped off his glasses to clean them. "It was simply magical." The other three groaned. "Now come help me serve dinner."

They sat around the fire as they ate, Noct and Prompto filling them in on their excursion, and Ignis was in such a good mood he decided to ignore Noct pushing the vegetables around his bowl. "What I don't get," Prompto said around a mouthful of stew, "is why the spell didn't wear off. When nagas die, their magic dies too. Right? But this one didn't. Why?"

"Unless this one wasn't dead," Noct answered. "We did kill it, didn't we?"

Ignis stared into the flames as he replayed their battle in his mind. Who had landed the killing strike? He couldn't recall. "I thought we had but I admit I became distracted with Gladio."

Three heads turned to Gladio. "Hey. I was a frog. Not my fault."

"Sooooooo..." Prompto swallowed, Noct groaning next to him.

"It seems we were paid for a job we didn't finish." Ignis stood, collecting the dishes with Gladio. "This is toadally unacceptable." Gladio rolled his eyes, bumping their hips together. Ignis laughed. "Too soon?"

"Nah," Gladio assured him. The sounds of the King's Knight opening theme started behind them. "We're gonna go kill that thing?" Ignis nodded, scrapping Noct's plate off into the refuse and handing it to Gladio to wash. "Damnit. I had plans tonight."

"Did you?" Ignis grinned, drying the dishes as Gladio finished them.

Gladio slung his arm around Ignis' waist. "Yep. Important plans." Ignis melted into his side, head resting against Gladio's shoulder. "Let's just say we'd need another maiden once I'm done with you."

The innuendo made him chuckle, hoping the shadows hid the worst of his blush. "You're shameless." Ignis teased and tipped his head back, Gladio meeting him halfway for a sweet kiss.

"You love me." Gladio gave him another kiss before separating to drag Noct and Prom from their phones. "Don't know what you two think you're doing. We got a job to do so hop to it."

"That was so bad, I almost croaked."

"I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Hardly, Highness. I know you find our humor ribbiting." Gladio chuckled at Iggy’s pun and linked their hands together as they headed out. "I do, you know," Ignis whispered.

“Do what?”

“Love you.”


End file.
